I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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