I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
