he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
