so explain again why im purple
no
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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