I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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