I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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