can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
