U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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