I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
