Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
