She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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