She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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