I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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