Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm jealous of your bromance
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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