I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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