I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize