R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
