Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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