I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
