that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hippo gnu deer
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
