you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
