there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's shark week go big or go home
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
