so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
