so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
