Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize