My nipple is on Facebook.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
