I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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