are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
