I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
