Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My vagina is officially offended.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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