I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
