It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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