You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
