She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
