but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
