I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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