Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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