there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
