she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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