True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
