I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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