We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
