There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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