What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
