One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
