I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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