Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I want to be your penis for a week.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize