Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Send help, water and tortillas.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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