Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
