walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just pee around me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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