Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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