Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
