Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
