if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I had to cum in my sink.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
