Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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