similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
