I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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