I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
