it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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