I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
