We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
