Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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