I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
