man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
