he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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